Dazed and Confucius

• Lorelai: They burnt my fries, forgot to give me an extra side of barbecue sauce, the jeep is making that crunchy sound again, and I have to spend my evening making elf ears for Aaron Thompson's Lord of the Rings party.
• Rory: Grandma broke into my dorm and redid the entire common room in $25,000 worth of furniture and stereo equipment.
• Lorelai: You win.
• Rory: It's unbelievable. You should see this place. I feel like I'm at Uday's house.
• Lorelai: Okay, tell me the whole story.
• Rory: I came home and all the normal furniture was gone and all this stuff was in here.
• Lorelai: What did your roommates say?
• Rory: Tanna still doesn't know she's at Yale, Paris saw it and said nothing.
• Lorelai: Oh, so that's coming.
• Rory: Janet's out jogging so I don't know what she thinks, but I have to hope she's pleased 'cause that girl's in shape and can kick my butt.
• Lorelai: Well, just make sure there's something she likes on the TV when she gets home. Something soothing to runners - maybe something that goes in a circle over and over.
• Rory: This is bad. This is a total invasion of privacy.
• Lorelai: I know.
• Rory: She didn't even ask. She got rid of everything that was in here. What if some of that furniture belonged to someone and they wanted it? I don't know what she was thinking.
• Lorelai: She was thinking, "Rory's life - mine. Must cover with chenille."
• Rory: I can't believe she did this.
• Lorelai: Oh, yes, you can.
• Rory: Excuse me?
• Lorelai: Well, Rory, come on, it's my mother. It's Emily Gilmore. This is what she does. You've seen her pull stunts like this on me for years.
• Rory: Yeah, but that was you.
• Lorelai: I told you when you borrowed that money from her that this is what you were getting into.
• Rory: I can't believe you're gloating.
• Lorelai: I'm not gloating. I'm just saying, when you sleep with dogs, you wake up with an entertainment center.
• Rory: Fine, so what do I do?
• Lorelai: Well, you could come out and say, "Grandma, this furniture is very nice. I appreciate the gesture, but this is a dorm room, and I cannot guarantee that the other people will love it as much as I do, and I worry about expensive equipment getting stolen, and it's just maybe too much right now."
• Rory: That sounds good.
• Lorelai: Okay. And then my mother will say, "Rory, your grandfather and I are paying for you to go to Yale. We are enabling you to have this rarefied education, and you're being ungrateful and small-minded, and I resent it. I am hurt on a level you will not be able to understand until you yourself have a daughter or a granddaughter who will cut your heart out the way you've just cut mine out, and I hope that small veneer of independence that you've extracted from this incident is worth the complete and total alienation of the grandparents who have done nothing but love you and thought of you only."
• Rory: Or I could keep the furniture.
• Lorelai: Yes, you could.
• Rory: This is great.
• Lorelai: Hon, seriously, if you feel strongly, say something. I just want you to be prepared, that's all.
• Rory: I know.
• Lorelai: And take heart in knowing that when it comes to controlling a person, my mother targeted my soul, my independence, and my entire future, and at least with you, she threw in an ottoman.