“He wanted to recover something, some idea of himself perhaps, that had gone into loving Daisy. His life had been confused and disordered since then, but if he could once return to a certain starting place and go over it all slowly, he could find out what that thing was.”— The Great Gatsby
It’s a blizzard outside today, the roads are a mess. Logan, Molly and myself lived like children of the 90s yesterday — it gave me flashbacks to my childhood. We played in the snow and then when we came in we ate popcorn and watched a Disney vhs! And today we are right back to 2011, as Logan plays the wii, I blog and Molly plays with her Leapster. Madness.
Tyler comes over today to help me choose an outfit for my scene tomorrow night, I guess that means I should really get on that pile of laundry that’s building up. Ah, it’ll keep. Today is very blah. Which is odd, considering it isn’t that different from my other days, and even still, I just feel super bored. Like I should be doing something and I’m not.
I almost never have things to blog about, if anyone actually reads this, I apologize for how boring it must come across as. I currently have what seems like eight million books on the go, mostly because I can never decide what to read. Classics, biographies, spy novels…such variety…and yet here I sit…blogging instead.
Well, so far 2011 has been a real drag. The year kicked off with a friend I’ve known my entire life and care for deeply, being killed in a car crash. And now, there’s just this constant ache with me, I know he would want me to smile about him. I do smile, I smile more than I cry, just like he would have wanted. But I do cry. I hurt over this, it’s devastating. It’s hard to believe that he’s never coming back. I miss him so much. It gets a little easier every day, the ache is there and I think it always will be, but it is getting easier, even if it is only a little.
On another note, I found out last week that due to waiting on reference letters from people, I missed the application deadline for school. So, no matter how disappointed I was, a new plan was needed, so I made one. I plan on moving out of Maggie and Adam’s and finding a job that pays more. My friend Gillian and I will then find an apartment and live there awhile. I’ll apply to school next year.
I shoot my scenes for the movie this Friday, and to say that I’m a tad nervous would be the understatement of the century. They’ve all been filming for weeks and I’ve had a table read and a rehearsal. The bar is set high and the pressure’s on.